Sometimes I feel like I should have life all sussed out. I have a full time job that pays my bills, I have great friends and an incredible boyfriend that love me for who I am and I have a hobby that, although I’m pretty poor with keeping up with, I really love… so why do I have such heart racing and negative thoughts before I’ve even gotten out of bed in the morning? I know I’m not alone in suffering with anxiety, which does fill me with some comfort, but why oh why must it make an appearance in daily life?
Life can be pretty demanding as it is. With working full time, socialising with loved ones, trying to eat right, attempting to keep a blog up and running + just generally finding time to also sleep is already very tiring… throw anxiety into the mix and everything just feels like one big, exhausting chore. It’s easy to feel like a bad friend, girlfriend, daughter, boss and general human being when you’re too tired to be your spritely self. These feelings of guilt are something I am working on to subside because, in all honesty, I’m doing the best I can.
So, rather than continuously moan on and on about it, I have decided to start making a conscious effort to better myself and keep moving forward. I like to do something everyday that worries/scares me to try and push myself out of this comfort zone of mine. Whether it be applying for a new job, speaking up more in meetings and pushing myself to start a new hobby, these are all things I have upped my game in recently and I’m feeling better for it. I’m also trying to find the silver lining in every day situations too which I’m finding to be a big help, especially if I then also write them down on paper.
Having things to look forward to and having them laid out for me to see and plan around also helps me massively. Olly and I are off to New York in 4 weeks and although I’m incredibly nervous about the travel side of things, I know for a fact that those anxious thoughts and feeling will disappear the minute we land. I find that planning bits and bobs for our trip gives me a great distraction too which is all I need.
After what feels like a lifetime, I feel like I’m finally getting my blogging motivation back which really, really excites me. I have some plans in the works for a dreamy redesign for this dot com of mine and I can’t wait to finally create a space online that not only reflects my content better, but also me. Speaking of, I’ve been thinking more and more about what kind of content I want to create. No matter how much I try, I’m just not that into make-up as other people are, does that make me a bad blogger? Absolutely not. Does that make me a different kind of blogger? Yes, of course. I just need to figure out what it is that I love to write about. Above anything, I aim to create content that I, personally, would want to read. I’m also thinking of dipping my toes into the vlogging world… I really, really love watching all different types of vlogs so I would love to be brave enough to create my own. I’m thinking of starting with something small like vlogging our trip to New York, there’s something about not knowing anyone in the city that feels me with some comfort as the chances of me bumping into them again are so slim! Watch this space…
I feel like I’ve rambled on for some time so I’m going to end this post here. It feels good to have my mojo back, if you like. If anyone has any tips or thoughts on how to bring yourself back up from an anxious phase, please do pop them in the comments!